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The Ten Plagues of Parenting
Last night we celebrated Passover. On the holiday that marks the freedom of my ancestors from Pyramid building I was being held hostage by 19 Month Old and his new negotiation technique, crib jumping....
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I Wrote a Review About Medieval Times and Made it all About Myself. And Moms....
FUN FACT: X number of years ago when I was but a young Masters degree student at the Tel-Aviv University I majored in Art History, specifically Medieval Art. REALLY FUN FACT: I wrote my thesis about...
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Twisted Lessons From 90’s TV Shows – Throw Back Thursday With Netflix
“Imagine a life without texting!” said a friend’s six-year-old son to her. “I don’t have to!” she responded. HA! #mommywin #butisitreally #oknevermind Well, believe it or not, I may know my way around...
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TV’s Top Ten Worst Husbands
Dear Dad, What did you do to piss your wife off today? Did you creatively feed your queasy vegetable-hating stomach-fluey offspring pancakes with maple syrup and cucumbers? Encourage your five-year-old...
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5 Easy Steps to Surviving a Breakup from your Favourite TV Show
Hey, girlfriend. Did you break up with a show recently? I know. Breakups are ugly.They’re full of empty Haagen Dasz cartons, revenge haircuts and voodooed photographs. But let’s be honest here, this is...
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Are Kids TV Shows Designed to Drain Our Last Remaining Shreds of Sanity
Good morning and happy First Day of No School to those celebrating (I’m all about oxymorons). I have a conspiracy theory. Aren’t kids’ TV shows a little bit too loud? A smidge too colourful? Don’t they...
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Ways in Which My Kids (And Probably Yours) Are Driving Me Insane This Summer
This morning I started a list of reasons 5 Year Old complains, whines and yells at me. I promised him I would also document my own impatience and the winner of contest (who has less items on their list...
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Ways in Which My Kids Conspire to Keep Me Awake
“Ever heard of the Maslow Pyramid, kid? To survive in this world you’ll need to eat, drink and occasionally sleep. You know, the basics.” – Smart Grownup People You know how your kids (at one point, at...
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Congratulations, You’re a Bad Cop!
Some time ago I tweeted this: 4 Year Old confirming: mama, YOU’RE the bad cop, right? Well, Four Year Old is now five and nothing’s changed except for the realization on my part that there’s yet...
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Parenting’s X-Files: The Mysteries of Child Rearing
Imagine the X-Files opening theme. Now imagine me showing you the month of October as a Rorschach ink blot. (creepy, right?) So what do you see? Is it the word “indecisiveness” floating over an image...
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TV’s Top Ten Most Annoying Girlfriends
“Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. They’re born thinkin’ the switch only goes one way: on.” – Shane, “The Walking Dead” Apparently dearly departed Shane’s pet peeve when it came to...
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Why I Didn’t Watch The Oscars Last Sunday
Dear Award Season, I don’t know who you are anymore. It’s not you. It’s me. *meaningful pause* Okay it’s actually you and by ‘you’ I mean ‘me’. I’m in a different place in my life right now, a place...
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9 Ways to Tell Your Toddler is a Second Child
Empirical studies conducted by me show that toddlers with an older sibling are 100% more likely to use the expression “buttface” before they turn three. And while not all households house an older...
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Shall We Fall?
Dear Diary, Fall is in the air (along with clouds of really small flies that can kamikaze their way into your house through the window nets). You can practically smell it, if you don’t mind inhaling...
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The Great Prenatal Cover Up – What I Wish I Was Told About Childbirth and...
6 years later, I still remember how when we got to page 23 of our prenatal class’s guidebook our instructor paused and said: you can go ahead and tear that page out. You won’t be needing it. The title...
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You’re Forty, Now What? Seven Strong Female Leads in Must-Watch Shows
March is the month when we celebrate International Women’s Day. It is also the month when we celebrate finally catching up with the age our children always thought we were – old, but that one’s more...
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Typical Phone Conversation Between Two Moms Who Know Each Other Very Well and...
“All mothers are slightly insane” J. D. Salinger *dialing friend’s number* Friend: yeah, hi (side mumble). Me: cool. Yeah. That’s amazing. Friend: put the ball where it belongs. Other kids will want...
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13 Aggressive Household Items and Their Problem
13 Aggressive Household Items and Their Problem Doormats and indoor doorway rugs – Nothing says “Welcome” like a doormat that says “Welcome” as it trips you. Inferiority complex. Mirrors – Gloaters...
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40 Objects Moms Serve as
Food Soother Thermometer White noise machine Educational developmental toy Carrier Vomit receptacle Bridge Mattress Pillow Alarm clock Garbage bin Blackboard Sticker album Ladder Stop watch Megaphone...
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Seven Love Stories in Seven Days – #4: Stuff
Last week my preschooler was invited to a birthday party at an indoor playground. I was recovering from one of the worst migraine episodes I’ve had in a long time and sharing a closed space with...
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